"chronicles of someone giving a damn"

I never been in this spot before...
gave my word I would help with anything
I walked in and he was shaking 
maryjane remnants in the air so I know he was half baking
tears streaming he said "I didn't know what I was thinking"
knowing he was tired of being bullied
he was low but not slow
down so he smoked to get higher esteem
I sat beside him and he brandished a pistol
we both stared at forever and sat still
told me he squeezed til there were no more sounds
sobbing he let out "they jumped me for months"
so he thought he evened the score
by giving evil what it wants
how many I asked...
silence.
how many?!?!?!
he whimpered
2 or 3 he said barely above a whisper
I know to this day that I was wrong
but burrying that gun in the bottom of the river had to be done
I put him on a bus outta town
he understood but did it with a frown
it was only the beginning....

"chronicles of someone giving a damn"

I watched from a distance, cuz I knew I taught him to hold his own. just as the streets taught me to hold mine. he didn't flinch... he hit the first one swung at the second but missed, as the others pounced I knew his body couldn't take the pain his bravery brought upon him. so I stopped it, cause we all knew it wasn't right, but growing up there you better know how to fight...a survival tactic, or was I prepping the nails for his coffin?
#damn

"chronicles of someone giving a damn"

sometimes you get to them too late...
as fate would have it, he was truer than most,
a warrior spirit that is now a ghost. he worked harder than he played, at the youthful age of 17, the young fighter was slain...
I knew if I was there to help he would still be here. but he chose his path, and its my turn to watch over the next warrior in the hoods back...
#IamYouthWork

"chronicles of someone giving a damn"

...she was only 11 when I met her. family issues, wardrobe miscues
young shorty was a mess. but I took to her, as she took to me, close as kin but she wasn't kin to me. just a kid that decided that she needed something. so I supported her moral development, and told her don't wait for gods judgement to repent. her moms called me an angel, she called me the big brother she prayed for. but she was another kid, that needed a youthworker...

is change good?

doing a lot, changing a lot = transitions
sometimes you may feel like change is too hard to compete against, or with, or even for. I've learned that change is always happening and its up to us whether or not we will continue to happen as well.
I have sacrificed a lot in the name of love (or my loose interpretations of it). The values and ideals I desire in one that can also put me in a position of vulnerability. I am in no way, shape, or form prepared to be hurt, but no one ever truly is.
I've spent my whole life in charge and stagnant. Never growing or changing because things had to be my way or no way at all. And as cool as that wasn't it has also taught me that each woman that was on my ladder was not for me. I think/believe that if someone loves you they will push you to change or grow for the better, and none of them quite could do that. It took a long time for me to realize that because I like having and doing things the way I chose. Most people do. But if a person cares enough about you to tell you what is not right about you, and is not gonna let you run them over and is pushing you to do better and be better, then I think you should hold them down because they are definitely doing the same for you.
I wish I knew this years ago when people who tried this I pushed away and never really tried to do it differently. So many people are brought into your life for reasons,or seasons, or a lifetime. Don't miss out on a lifetime fighting with a reason over your season.
Every season there is some change, and that reason is inevitable, for any and all lifetimes
Change is good but its better when there's someone in your corner helping you do it!

Stay Inspired...